5 posts tagged “it's all about me”

Thankful.
[The week started out well, despite Chris's 4 day and 3 night planned absence for work.  There was lots of love and calls and even an evening when friends brought by food, cleaned my kitchen then stayed while my babes slept I got to the gym for a great workout.  The body of Christ serves me.  I am grateful.]

Rooted.
[We had some good days, the kiddos and I.  We stuck close to home.  I felt it best since it was the first time Gus really had a grip on what Daddy being gone meant - we was clingy to Chris just before he left and lately hasn't really been excited at the idea of going out, though he's ok when we do.  But this time around, home was best.] 

Solo.
[Chris was scheduled to be home in time for dinner on Thursday night, but that was not taking into account a large forest fire, and the role he plays as the map guy for provincial emergencies for our region.  Late work on Thursday, a 12 hour day on Friday (when we thought he'd be home) and about 8 hours at the office during the weekend, most of which was during the evening dinner and bedtime hour.  Though he was in and out, I began to feel more alone than I did the days before.]

Unwell.
[Saturday night Chris was home for a few hours.  We decided to go out for dinner - treat ourselves with that overtime pay.  We walked into the restaurant and three...two...one: Gus threw up.  A lot.  We got some pizza instead and ate at home.  Over the next 2 days, both kids would empty their stomach twice and Chris and I would experience unsettled stomachs.  Oh, and my eyelid swelled.  It's better now.]

Weary.
[It's not about the sleep, though I find I need a lot of it.  It's not even about the kids being sick, it didn't change up our routine too much except add a load or 2 of laundry and add disinfectant to the grocery list.  I feel like I need to recharge, but I'm not sure how: workout?  books?  my journal and a latte?  nap?]

In about five days, the province I live in is holding an election to fill up our legislature again.  I think I've decided for whom I'll vote, but I feel like it's a lesser of evils; I just can't find the right combo of party policy, leadership qualities and representative acumen.  I'm starting to get rather depressed about it.

However, for me, this election cycle has a lot less to do with who we send back to represent us and more to do with deciding how we do that in the future.  Along with casting ballots, we're also being asked to decide whether or not we want to change our electoral system from the current first-past-the-post system.  It's called the Single Transferable Vote (STV) and is a form of proportional representation (used in many, many European counties) with our form being almost identical to that of Ireland. 

I've done a lot of reading on the subject from both sides of the argument.  I recognize fully that there will be some not-so-great possibilities, but no worse that what we currently face and have decided that, in the balance, I think this electoral process is a good one and should be used here.  I feel like it would result in a legislature far more representative (truly) than our current system.  And I feel very strongly about this.

The 'yes' side to this debate has a lot of work to do.  It has to work against inertia.  STV isn't as obvious to people and it requires people take time to be educated.  It's far harder to effect change; people choose the path of least resistance and, given the time I've spent talking to different people and reading the letters to the editor and the sound bites on TV, I'm don't think that education is really happening.  No, I'm not saying that just because someone disagrees with me that they aren't educated on the subject.  What I am hearing, however, are a lot of statements made against the system, but when questioned further, they don't actually know how or even why those statements are or aren't true.  (There's a lot of misinformation out there, too.) 

Essentially, I'll be surprised if the referendum passes because I believe that people will take the path of least resistance and embrace the devil the know (so to speak.)

And this really, really, bums me out.  I get depressed and frusterated.  Chris gets angry. 

Last week while talking about democracy and politics, we realized that we're getting pretty riled about it.  We had to take a moment to realize that, though not insignificant, we can't let politics dictate our own attitudes and focus and response to life.  God is still God regardless of who governs, regardless of our electoral system.  Life marches on.
That thought calms me, encourages me.

And then the things of life happen around me: Joyful things.  Painful things.  People get sick and injured.  People make poor choices.  People make good ones.  Lives change unimaginably in a moment.  Suddenly I'm praying like I've been given new wind.  Life is marching on.  My mind swirls.  People become more important again.  Politics fade a bit.

I'll still vote next week.  I'll continue to ask that others do, too.  It is still significant, after all.  And though I may be disappointed (intertia, remember?) I can be assured that God hasn't changed, that people are imprortant and that joy can be found in a lot of places.

Last week we were sick - I think I had it the worst, though my kids can't talk about it the same way. 

We stayed in a lot more than we usually do - just a quick trip or two for groceries and errands.  I almost canceled scrabble night with my peeps, but I really wanted that time with them so I didn't and I'm think I made the right call because I still got a good night's sleep.

I watched season two of Veronic Mars.  Here's my thing, among others: there's no way that rat would have been present after sitting in the ocean for a couple weeks (minimum) with the bus. See, I watch Bones, too, so I know those ocean going creatures would have eaten that sucker already.  Otherwise, me likes.

I prepared a care pacakage for a sibling and his girlfriend.  I don't do enough nice things for the lovely people in my life.  Must work on that.

I did some reading online, but not a lot.  (Remember, I just polished off a whole season!)

I'm feeling stretched and scattered.  I feel like there are many directions I could go, many different ways to spend me time, but I don't know which way to take, which way to scatter.  Kids to raise, people to visit, things to do, lives to live.  I've been trying to carve out more time to think and pray and wonder and rest.  Right now, I'm hearing a lot about joy and paying attention to people around me.  God, what's up?

Tell me, folks, how do you decide what you're going to do today?

1. Starting a 10 (or 13 or 20, whatever) week running program.

2. BC - STV referendum coming up.  I actually have a lawn sign out front during an election.  So, so weird for me.  But it's not for a candidate or party, but, as I see it, for democracy.

3. Making more envelopes.  Pretty ones, strange ones.  Want me to send you something in one?  PM me your address. :)

4. Calling a couple girlfriends and setting about another scrabble night.  Thankfully, they've beaten me to it! :)

5. Realizing, once again, that I spend way too much time worrying about what people think.

6. Realizing that I want to keep in touch with people, so I need to spend more time doing it.

7. Being joyful.

8. Planting my garden: both my flower patch out front and the veggie garden on the side.  Turns out our raspberries are multiplying as we've been hoping.

9. Investing in canning supplies for our summer garden haul.  But will I actually use it?

10. God is a mystery, and I'm okay with that.  In fact, lately I've been feeling more and more comfortable with not understanding the minutia of theology.  I remember one author once referring to something called "sacred ambiguity" and I'm appreciating it more and more.  I don't have to understand all, just be.  My God is bigger than my (mis)understandings.

11. What's with that pimple on Peaches eyelid?

12. Making hummous.

13. Not eating sugary sweets for Lent was good for me in a couple of ways.  Will I just crash back in to old habits?

What are you thinking about today?

Because Connie always has ideas to keep the post-ideas juices running.

Seven Things About Me

1. When I was in Grade 2, my teacher would let whoever wanted to, come to her place after school and go dog-sledding with her and her husband.  I loved it.
2. When I was about 11, I learned some bits of sign language, including the alphabet.  For a period of a few months, I would sign as I spoke, but since I only really knew the alphabet, I would sign the words letter by letter, (I-a-t-e-t-o-a-s-t-f-o-r-b-r-e-a-k-f-a-s-t)  with my hands at my side. 
3. I speedskated competitively for 11 years, both short and long track.
4. I regularly burn whatever it is I've put under the broiler.  Like the pita, just now.  [Just finished airing out the house.]
5. I like liver.  Eating it.
   
6. I don't like grape-flavoured anything: too many  memories of gravol associated with car sickness, which I still occasionally suffer from.
7. My maternal grandma's birthday is on Mar 25th, my mom's is on April 25th, and I was born May 25th.  We are all first borns.  I messed things up: my firstborn was the wrong gender, on the wrong day in the wrong month - i.e. not June 25th.  It would have been a cool combo though b/c Chris's birthday is July 25th, (which he shares with his brother who is not his twin, but born 4 years later) and that would have put Gus smack in the middle of our 2 birthdays.  But we all like Gus anyway.  :)
   

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